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Today I found myself reading blogs about cancer, and finding that there were more similarities than differences to Anya’s diagnosis. True, my life is not at stake, but my child’s is, and there are so many of the same emotions swimming in my head. Everything going on now reminds me of when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was in high school.
The first is just disbelief- I have suffered through so much in my life, that this is something I had never prepared for. Losing your mother at ...

Today went blessedly fast. I am such an odd place.
The best I can explain is that I have given Anya up to God. I haven't given up on her, but I no longer worry if she will die, even though I don't want her to. If she has a chance at life, if Dr. Kays thinks she has a chance at life, we will give her that chance. If not we will lovingly let her go.
I am excited about the consult at Shands but full of forboding about it as well. I am worried that we will decide to go down there and we ...

It has been a month since Anya was diagnosed, and I have about 4 months to go of the pregnancy. I am so tired, not really physically, I was able to take a walk today and felt good- but just emotionally. At work today at one point I just felt very dull, going through the motions, not the worst I have felt since this all started but like I just didn't, couldn't care anymore about anything. Tomorrow is the MRI, then the next the echo and dicussion of results. Every other time I have gone for an appointment ...