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January 14th. I was nervous but also very excited and hopeful. I never imagined they would tell me what they did. I had never heard of CDH before. I spent the rest of that day and the following day in a daze, mostly numb and unsure of how to feel. I researched...and then broke down. Three days ago I found out. I have been finding it hard not to cry today. I spent all of yesterday afternoon and evening crying. This is my third pregnancy. My first was unhappy circumstances and I had decided to give ...

I started having contractions on Monday the 14th. My doctor checked me but they haven't been doing anything at that point. I have 32cm of fluid so although I am only 33 weeks I am measuring full term. On Tuesday I started having a lot of contractions again and so I came back to hospital. I was dilated to 3. I was so upset I couldn't stop crying. I have been in the hospital since and they have stopped the progression on the labor. I hope we can push it out as long as possible. The pediatric ...

I lost my sweet girl nearly 11 weeks ago and the pain and sorrow seem to intensify. I feel like flood gates of emotion have opened. I find that previously I was trying to just keep things in check and "manage" myself and my grief. What I am learning is to simply let myself "be" and feel what I feel when I feel it. It is so very hard as I, probably like many of you, am so tired of feeling such deep sorrow and sadness. I find anger in it as I don't think it is the right way ...

We Remember:

The room was silent. You could hear a pin drop. There was no movement around me. My world as I knew it stopped. As I held his lifeless body in my arms, my heart ached. My stomach was in knots and every part of me hurt. Tears flowed uncontrollably and all I could do was just look at him. Nothing else mattered. I didn’t want to take my eyes off him for I knew that this would be the last time I would see him here on this earth.

I wanted to scream, yell out ...

Like many I fear I simply "survived" Christmas this year. Between the loss of our sweet baby girl and family strife, it was nothing short of disaster. I had family visiting from Indiana (17 hours away) and I think emotions were high for all of us. I know they feel the loss too but I was also hoping for a bit of a "hall pass" when it came to lack of patience by both my husband and myself. It didn't work out that way. It was no way to honor Christ's birth or my daughter. ...