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Well Cooper has been in this world for 2 weeks today, and this little boy is a fighter. His repair surgery went well and he is now off ecmo. He had to have 3 surgeries to wash out his belly bc it had a collection of blood, but he is doing so well now he is off his blood pressure meds (except for dopamine but it is only at 2). His ventaliator is turned down to 60% and he is even getting some breastmilk thru a feeding tube. He has came so far and I am so so happy praying for many more good days!!! ...

Today I found myself reading blogs about cancer, and finding that there were more similarities than differences to Anya’s diagnosis. True, my life is not at stake, but my child’s is, and there are so many of the same emotions swimming in my head. Everything going on now reminds me of when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was in high school.
The first is just disbelief- I have suffered through so much in my life, that this is something I had never prepared for. Losing your mother at ...

Today went blessedly fast. I am such an odd place.
The best I can explain is that I have given Anya up to God. I haven't given up on her, but I no longer worry if she will die, even though I don't want her to. If she has a chance at life, if Dr. Kays thinks she has a chance at life, we will give her that chance. If not we will lovingly let her go.
I am excited about the consult at Shands but full of forboding about it as well. I am worried that we will decide to go down there and we ...

It has been almost 2 weeks since we put Sienna in her mausoleum drawer. it was an extremely emotionally difficult day but with it has come unexpected peace in my heart. I know she is where she needs to be and I'm surprised at how I am doing. I actually feel good. They allowed me to place her in the crypt instead of taking her from me. Usually they don't allow family members back there while they are sealing up the crypt, but they allowed me and my husband to lay her in there and place the letters ...

It has been a month since Anya was diagnosed, and I have about 4 months to go of the pregnancy. I am so tired, not really physically, I was able to take a walk today and felt good- but just emotionally. At work today at one point I just felt very dull, going through the motions, not the worst I have felt since this all started but like I just didn't, couldn't care anymore about anything. Tomorrow is the MRI, then the next the echo and dicussion of results. Every other time I have gone for an appointment ...