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[size=18:8931d643c5][color=violet:8931d643c5]"It is better to light a candle, than to complain about darkness".[/color:8931d643c5][/size:8931d643c5]
R. Herzog

This has been a crazy month. I have been kept very busy at work, and most of my free time I spend obsessing over my current pregnancy. We went in again for a check-up on the 19th and this little baby has decided it will be difficult from the beginning. The midwife tried to get the heartbeat on the fetal doppler and once again couldn't. It sent me into such a panic.I stayed calm on the outside, but inside I was freaking out. She brought me in for an ultrasound and the baby was there doing flips and ...

They found the babies heartbeat!!! Which is the best news we have gotten in a long time. They couldn't find it with the doppler, which was normal since I was only 9 weeks along, but they did another ultrasound and the baby was very visible this time. We found the baby and the hearbeat immediately which was such a relief. I have been carrying around the ultrasound picture with me ever since. I can't believe I'm really pregnant. I am about 10 1/2 weeks along now and am just starting to get the baby ...

This has been quite a busy month for me. So much has happened recently, I have no idea where to start.

Work has been crazy, and I have been promoted to the full time cake decorator position, which basically means a whole lot more work and responsibility for not a whole lot more money. But that's OK I need to stay busy.

On with the more important news...Nate and I started trying for another baby. After many discussions (we were going to wait a little while longer), and ...

Well, as I look at the date today I try to accept the fact that it has been 5 months since Gabe passed. Time seems to be rolling along gathering speed as it goes faster and faster, and I am still up on the hill left behind watching it go. I really wish it would all stop for a little bit and let me catch up.

I guess overall things are getting 'better'. I have days that I actually enjoy for the most part. There are times in the day when my mind is on things other than Gabriel. I think ...