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  1. TTC...possibly pg?

    This has been quite a busy month for me. So much has happened recently, I have no idea where to start.

    Work has been crazy, and I have been promoted to the full time cake decorator position, which basically means a whole lot more work and responsibility for not a whole lot more money. But that's OK I need to stay busy.

    On with the more important news...Nate and I started trying for another baby. After many discussions (we were going to wait a little while longer), and ...
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  2. 5 months

    Well, as I look at the date today I try to accept the fact that it has been 5 months since Gabe passed. Time seems to be rolling along gathering speed as it goes faster and faster, and I am still up on the hill left behind watching it go. I really wish it would all stop for a little bit and let me catch up.

    I guess overall things are getting 'better'. I have days that I actually enjoy for the most part. There are times in the day when my mind is on things other than Gabriel. I think ...
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  3. Crazy and overwhelmed

    I am going to start out by saying that as you read this you may think I'm crazy, but thats OK, I have accepted that most of my friends and family do. I am an animal lover. I have three cats, a rabbit, and three rats who are my babies. I know, most people freak out over the rat thing, but they are wonderful animals no matter what anyone says. Anyway, my animals have really been a huge comfort to me in the last few months. They are always there, willing to listen, and they give you unconditional love. ...
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  4. Mothers Day

    Well, Mothers Day was an awful day for me but not for the reasons I would have thought. I was sick the entire day and slept most of it away.

    As far as the rest of it went it was really the days leading up to it that were the hardest. At work I decorate cakes, and Mother's Day is a busy holiday for cake orders. It was a constant reminder of the day that I couldn't celebrate...at least not the way I wanted to. I also got the question 'are you a mother?' quite a few times over the course ...
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  5. Finding support

    As Mothers Day approaches I think about how my life would be different if my baby was still here. My apartment feels empty, missing something, even though he never came home. All the dreams I had with the nursery and all of his "firsts" taking place here. It feels so empty and quiet, all of his stuff still in place, still waiting to be used. The door to the nursery always closed, just a plain door, but still a constant reminder of whats behind it and all the of the dreams that ...
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