My Dearest Liam,

I really don't know how to articulate how much I miss you! There are days when life seems more bareable, but nothing is easy. The day you passed was the worst day of my life- and I know the worst day of Daddy's and Landon's too. I remember every detail of that day and each detail hanuts me. The most haunting memory is when I called your Nonna and Grandpa to tell them to come to Boston quickly because you weren't going to make it. The sound of Nonna's voice haunts me in my dreams. I should have never had to make that call. I should have never had to call Daddy either. I don't think I'll ever know why God called you Home so quickly. It was like I got a glimpse of Heaven and just as I walked through its gates, God said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in." The thing about God is that He doesn't have to tell us why He does what He does. He doesn't do things our way or in our time, but one of the beautiful things about God is that He waits for us. He waits when we are mad at Him. I will always be mad at Him for taking you from us, but He knows that I'm mad and He understands why. The thought of being without you every day for the rest of my life is excruciating, but I have to remember that you are in a glorious place. You are safe, healthy, happy and thriving now. That is a great gift. I wish you could have been granted that gift in this life, here with us. I wish I could have saved you, Peanut! I would give my life to have you back- I would give my life for anything you or your brothers ever needed! ANYTHING! There are things that are out of our control- things that we wish we had control of and this is one of them. I clutch your blankie and lion and I wrap Oakley in your blankie so he can feel your love. Landon often "steals" your blankie and lion so that he can snuggle it for himself. I know that Oakley and Landon feel your love every day! For the last several days or weeks (I've lost track), it has rained and thunder-stormed. Each sound of thunder reminds us of you and Landon says, "There's Liam! Roaring again!" Landon used to be so afraid of thunder and when you passed away we told Landon that the thunder is you, roaring in Heaven. Now, he loves thunder and isn't afraid. He knows it's his Angel Brother saying "Hello." Yesterday it stormed like crazy and Landon said, "Mom, there's Liam! He's saying he ok up there!" And after another sound of thunder he said, "And now he says he loves us!" Your brothers give me beautiful gifts in so many ways , and when I look at them, I see you. You all look so much alike, yet your personalities are so different. Landon is the easy going one- like your Daddy. Oakley is very hot and cold. He has moments where he is fussy, fussy, and then is happy and smiley for hours on end. You, My Little Man, are like your mother... a stubborn bull who fights through and pushes through. We could see how finicky you were when your diaper was wet or you didn't like your position because your blood pressure would sky-rocket. You are your mother, though and through, Li Li!

I love you, Liam Anthony! And I miss you more than I can describe. My heart aches for you and my arms long to hold you again. I know I will someday. And I know that until that day, you are safe in God's arms!

God Bless You, Li Li!
All My Love,
Momma

Thank you to everyone at CHERUBS for your support and kindness on Liam's Angel Day! Yesterday marked the 2-year anniversary of Liam's passing. I hate to even use the word "anniversary," as "anniversary" often implies a celebration of some sort and Liam's passing is not something to celebrate. It's hard to believe that it's been two years since we lost Liam. It truly seems like only yesterday in the sense that I remember every single detail of that day, but it seems like forever since I've held him and seen his face in person. This day will forever mark the worst day of our lives, but we try to find joy in the precious, beautiful moments that we shared with Liam, and all the wonderful moments that we share with his brothers. All three of them look so much alike, yet they are such different little people. CDH often feels like a double-edged sword. I'm sure that most, if not all of the CDH families can relate to this feeling. But it is so comforting to have CHERUBS and its members. It is very much like an extended family- and a great blessing!

With Love,
Jade

Hello, All,

My husband and I have waited quite some time to shoare this news with everyone, but...

We are expecting our 3rd child due March 31, 2013!

We are very excited, but also extremely scared and anxious, as we lost Liam a year ago on June 25, 2012. Please pray for our family during this emotional time and for this child to be safe and healthy!

With Love,

Dustin, Jade, Landon and CHERUB Angel, Liam Hunt

To our wonderful friends at CHERUBS,

Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers on Liam's Angel Day. It baffles me that an entire year has already passed, when his passing still feels so fresh. I think some aspects of his passing will always be fresh. The wound will never heal and on certain days, I will relive every event of the day he passed, and relive all 33 days of his life. It is devastating and painful, but we hold tight to the many beautiful moments and memories. We are grateful for and thank God for his presence in our lives! We continue to bow to God in thanks for our oldest son, Landon! He is has been our saving grace through our journey with Liam. My children are the reason I live and breathe- I know my husband would say the same!

Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts! God Bless You All!

With Much Love,
Jade Hunt (on behalf of Dustin, Landon, Liam and I)

Thank you to all of our friends at CHERUBS for the beautiful message we received on Liam's birthday! His first birthday without him was extremely difficult and emotional, but with the guidance, support and love of our family and friends we were about to celebrate Liam and his precious life! We know that he is watching over us and showering us with his love and pride!

With Love,

Dustin, Jade, Landon and Liam "the Lion" Hunt

Good Morning, My Precious Liam!

It has been a long while since I've posted a blog, Unfortunately, life gets in the way sometimes. Everything has been hectic and chaotic and we are more than ready for it all to slow down! We're pooped to say the very least! ;)

I want you to know how much we love you and how proud we are of you! You continue to inspire us and so many people around the world! You are a precious gift from God and have shown us the light that God shines down on us. You are Our Beautiful Lion! We love you with all of our hearts and souls! God Bless You and Keep You in His Loving and Tender Arms!

All My Love Forever,
Momma

SENDING MY THOGHTS AND PRAYERS OUT TO ALL OF MY FELLOW CHERUBS MEMBERS! GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND YOUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN! KEEP FIGHTING BEAUTIFUL CHERUBS! THE HUNT FAMILY IS CHEERING YOU ALL ON, AS ALWAYS!

Good Afternoon, My Precious Little Lion!

I miss you so incredibly much, Liam Anthony Hunt! I'm looking outside the window and see your flaming mane shine down upon me. I know that you are holding me close, and helping me to be strong and courageous. I know that you hear me when I talk to you and dry my tears as I weep. I know that you are safe in God's loving and tender arms. I love you more than I could ever describe! You and Landon are my heart, my soul, my reasons for being! You are the reasons I wake up in the morning and you are the reasons I lay my head down at night.

I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK! GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU, LIAM!

All My Love FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN,
Momma

Good Afternoon, My Gorgeous, Liam!

I have been doing a lot of internal soul searching and talking with just a couple of people. I won't dwell on my milions of thoughts, fears, and questions, but what I've surmised from everything is that I believe with all of my being that you would not want me to dwell and turn myself inside out with the shoulda, coulda, woulda's and what if's. I know that you want us to believe that God had a plan from the very beginning and that God would never want you to be in pain or suffer. You are and always have been in his loving and tender arms and he has and will continue to protect you and keep you safe from all harm! I know that you are watching over all of us and telling us that it's ok to be happy and to find joy in life again! I know what you and God are trying to tell me and show me, I just have to choose to listen and see.

I am driven to put more pieces of our puzzle together and aswer some of my questions. I know that it is impossible to answer all of my questions. One day, I will have all of the answers, but by the time I have them , they won't matter because you will be in my arms and we will be together for all eternity!

I just want to answer some questions and close this chapter of our journey. I want us all to begin to grieve and heal. I know that we will never be whole again, but we can at least come together as a family and find understanding and peace.

There is part of me that wants to find someone to be mad at, but I can't spend the rest of my life doing that. Everyone did everything they could to help you and heal you. Not knowing about your CDH posed a huge obstacle to overcome. Having known about your CDH, maybe things would have been different, but as a phenomenal friend just recently said, God had your path and destiny chosen even before your birth. I have to have faith in God and know that calling you Home was the best choice for you. I would never want you to spend your life struggling, fighting, and not being able to do things that your big brother can do. I can't justify that as fair! I only ever want was BEST for you and Landon!

I miss you, Liam Anthony Hunt and I am so incredibly proud of you! You and Landon make this world a much better place! Liam, you continue to touch loves and inspire all of us who surround you! You are an Amazing Child and a Gorgeous Angel!

All My Love Forever and Ever,
Momma

Good Afternnon, My Gorgeous, Most Precious Angel Boy, Liam,

My mind is flooded with many thoughts, fears and questions. I am struggling to find any words that can properly express what I am thinking and feeling, but I am at a loss. I know that you have your little arms around me and are comforting me and guiding me through the particular valley we are all walking through right now. I know that you are listening to my every word and hear me loud and clear, as I talk with you every second of every day. I need you every second of every day!

I am blogging today to say this:

I miss you so incredibly much! So much that I know a part of me has died. I love with with ALL OF MY HEART AND SOUL, Liam Anthony Hunt! God Bless You and Keep You in His Loving and Merciful Arms! You and Landon are my ENTIRE WORLD! You are the reasons I live and breathe! You are the reasons that God gave me life!

All My Love For All Eternity,
Momma

Hello, My Gorgeous Angel,

Yesterday brought some very heart-wrenching news. Upon meeting with our lawyers about the car accident you and I were in while you were in my tummy, it was made clear that my MRSA infection and surgeries did not affect you in ANY way. This was such good news to hear, as it creates a bit more peace in knowing that what I had didn't harm you. The troubling news came when they read me your records from Boston. They found some very interesting-not in a good way- things that happened after your birth that could have compromised your health- and could possibly made your condition much worse than what it initially was. It was noted that in terms of your RCDH, you did quite well. I will not go into great detail as I have already prayed to you and God about all of this, but my heart has broken again. It seems that when you answer one question, 300 more arise. I'm angry- understandbly so! I just want answers! I know I will never have answers to all my questions, but I want answers to some of them- as many as possible. I want to know what happened to you. I want to know if something that shouldn't have happened, did in fact happen. I guess that it's natural for a parent in my position to feel this way. Any parent would want answers and any parent would be continuously asking "why?" Now there is so much room for more of those "why?" questions. I'm a wreck- the same way, if not worse, than the wreck I was when you passed away. I just... I'm so angry and heartbroken and devastated and confused. I know that we have two amazing lawyers who are always looking out for our best interest. I know that they will help answer some of my questions and help piece this awful puzzle together. This journey is like a terrible nightmare that I will never wake up from and they pain will never go away. I feel like, even more so, that you should still be here! What happened? What went wrong?

Liam, I am so sorry that I could help you or save you! I feel like I completely failed you! I'm your Momma and I'm supposed to protect you and make everything better and I couldn't. Everything was completely out of my control and I hate that! I hate feeling and being out of control! I'm so sorry, My Perfect Boy!

My eyes are tired and burn from crying. My stomach hurts from churning. I feel feverish and dizzy. All of those feelings bring me back to the day you passed away. I just feel guilty and like a terrible Momma.

I love you with all my heart and soul, Liam Anthony Hunt! God bless you and keep you! I hope that you are still proud of me and know that everyone did everything they could to help you! I'm so sorry, Angel! I just don't know what more to say...

All My Love FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN,
Momma

Good Morning, My Little One,

Today has already been an extremely emotional day. So many thoughts and fears are running through my mind and I am struggling to not drown myself in them. The root of it all is how much I miss you, Liam Anthony! There are days when nothing makes sense and I can barely put one foot in front of the other. Today is one of those days that I just want to crawl into a deep, dark hole and stay there. I'm emotionally unstable and unpredictable, I'm shaky and rotate from being freezing cold to sweating. Days like this drag on forever, and I wonder if they will ever cease, or at least become few and far between. Will I ever be really happy again? There are many things I'm happy about. I smile and laugh and enjoy being around people, but when I go to bed at night, I still feel so empty inside. Like I'm starving to death. I really want nothing more than to lay down and go to sleep for a while. I'm exhausted- in every sense of the word! I can't even breathe...

Liam, I need your strength and courage. I need you to wrap your precious arms around me and hold me tighter today. Bring me peace and understanding. Tell God that I need his mercy and grace as well.

I miss you more than I could ever express. There is no way to define how much I miss you. It's immeasurable...

God Bless You, Liam Anthony Hunt! I love you with ALL my heart and soul- to the moon and back!!!!

All My Love Forever,
Momma

Hello, My Little Peanut,

It has been quite a while since I've posted a blog and I feel like there is so much I need to catch folks up on.

Last week I became CHERUBS' VT representative. I am really excited to be a part of such an amazing organization! It is my hope and goal to do great things and continue to make you proud and help you lgeacy grow and blossom!

Daddy went away this weekend to see Uncle Jeff, Auntie Kristina and their new little man, Harrison. Daddy had mixed emotions about going, but we really want to show our love and support for them, as they are such dear friends of ours. We are extremely happy for them, though it is is very bittersweet. Daddy held Harrison- the first baby he's held since we held you. He said his anxiety kicked into overdrive. Every little face and noise that Harrison made scared your Dad. He remembered that you made those same faces and wondered if something was wrong. Your Dad has never had trouble with little ones, but now we are very sensitive to... everything. I told your Dad that given time, he won't be as sensitive and experience so much agnst. Uncle Jeff and Auntie Kristina are so amazing and they were very supportive and compassionate with your Dad, as they always are with all of us. Daddy realized that he does need more time before we even consider giving you and Landon a brother or sister. I'm glad that Daddy and I are on the same page now. Jeff adn Kristina are an amazing couple and really deserve precious Harrison to bring added joy to their lives and family! Again... it is bittersweet to say this, but I am happy for them- with all my heart. Daddy will be home this afternoon! Yea! I hate being away from your Dad, now more than I used to be. I have you, Lan and Lucy to keep me company, but your Dad makes me feel so safe. The four of you- You, Daddy, Landon and Lucy are home for me. When I hear the word home- you guys are what I think of!

We miss you so much Liam, and although the days drag on, the weeks and months drift by so quickly. I hope that you are watching over us and are proud of us! We are so incredibly proud of you, Liam! God Bless You and Keep You in His Loving Arms, Liam Anthony Hunt!

I love you with all my heart and soul!
All My Love,
Momma

Good Afternoon, My Gorgeous Angel, Liam!

It has been a very long time since I've written on our blog. Aside from the chaos that is "life," a terrible GI bug has been going around our entire community and made a visit to HPHRC. The majority of the patients on our unit, as well as staff were all stricken with excessive nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. A few folks made a trip to PMC across the street, others were able to ride it out. Today, no one is actively ill, but our units are still locked and were are encouraging visitors to come back in a few days. I was out of work for 2 days, and tried to put on a brave face on Friday, only to be sent home after vomiting three times. Needless to say, my stomach has nothing left to give. I've been eating and am feeling quite better. I've been giggling with the girls at work and am more back to "normal," if that even exists. Luckily, Daddy and Landon have not had any signs or symptoms- Thank God!

I miss you, Liam! I am so proud of you and the amazing bundle of perfection that you are! You are Our MIRACLE, Our ANGEL, and Our HERO! Thank you for the light the you and God shine over us! Thank you for the smiles that grace our faces! Thank you for showing us what true love is and blessing us all with it! I love you with all my heart and soul! God Bless You, Liam Anthony Hunt! I miss you, My Gorgeous Boy... so, so much!

All My Love Forever,
Momma

Good Morning, My Little Peanut,

It seems like a while since I've written. Life has been so busy and so hectic, that I am completely exhausted. I even have been ignoring the housework because I have no motivation at the end of the day. Now, that means I'm super tired; you know what an OCD neat-freak I am!

We had to take Landon back to the doctors' office due to a really bad cough. It is productive and he's moving the "yuckies" around, so I'm hopeful that with a few more days on his antibiotic, he will be better. If the cough were dry, it would mean that all the "yuckies" are sedentary in his lungs- that almost always turns into pneumonia! At any rate, he is still his wild self! You boys are such troopers! I get the sniffles and I'm a mess; Daddy gets a hang nail and he's whiny; you and Lan are so strong and resilient! I am amazed by My Beautiful Boys!

I am LOVING the lack of snow this winter! It's been bitter cold the past fews days and we've had a few sleet and freezing rain storms, but not a ton of snow! I can handles sleet and freezing rain- either I drive incredibly slow, or I don't drive at all! I'm not a big fan of snow and never really have been. It's pretty for like a week, then I'm over it! Daddy and I have been talking more about the four of us and Lucy moving to Nashville. Daddy thought I was joking at first, but I was completely serious! He's warming up to the idea! You and I will have to work on him a bit more! ;) It won't be an easy move, and I know that. I'm an optimist, but I'm also a realist. This will be a very long and methodical process, but it's something that I really want for our little family! I just feel like living in VT, Daddy and I are struggling big time to keep our heads above water- sometimes, we sink completely. I don't want us to live the rest of our lives feeling that way! I want better things for you boys! I want Landon to be able to go to the college or university that he wants to, not the one your Daddy and I can afford. I want Daddy to have a job that he LOVES and gets paid what he deserves! Daddy has a BA degree in Business Management and I get paid more than he does. I am a licensed Cosmetologist and a Licensed Nurse Aid- how much sense does that make? I just want a better life for all of us, and I feel like if we stay in a place that we really cannot afford to live in or have jobs that don't pay want we deserve, we are going to struggle forever. I don't want to live like that! I don't want any of us to live like that! The hardest part is leaving our parents and siblings. That still pulls at us!

I love you, Liam Anthony Hunt! I need your strength, courage and guidance! You are above us in Heaven and you and God can see what lies ahead. We are blind to that.

I miss you so much and struggle each day with out you! Your and Landon's love give me the strength to keep going! I do it for You, Daddy and Landonbug!

God Bless You, My Perfect Angel!
All My Love For All Eternity,
Momma

Good Morning, Liam Anthony!

During the past week, I didn't have even 5 minutes to sit down and post. It was chaotic and stressful, to say the very least! The chaos and stress had nothing to do with us and home- it had everything to do with my job! Working in a rehabilitation center/nursing home, you learn very quickly that it is a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week operation. We all have to come together as one collective unit to make things flow smoothly- and to help each other endure the muddy waters. There are days when we do nothing but laugh to keep from crying- last week had many of those kinds of days!

I had to work the floor on Saturday, which I really don't mind doing. I miss the patient contact when I'm in the office, so it's nice to step away from my desk and work with the folks that are here. It also serves as a great reminder of how hard my co-workers work! I was completely exhausted by 3:00!

When I got home, Ni-Ni and Aunt ZeeZee took me to Burlington to go out to dinner and do some shopping. I was so excited because I was able to use my Victoria's Secret gift card from Daddy! They are having great sales, so I got a bunch of perfumes and sprays, which I am so excited about! It's pretty sad that perfume and body spray excite me! ;) It's the little things in life, right?! After that, Ni-Ni and I went to an 80's Dance in Middlebury. We had such a good time dancing! We each had just one drink, which was nice. It's so much more fun to be sober and people watch!

Sunday was a relaxing day. Aunt ZeeZee and I went grocery shopping and got McDonald's for lunch. Landon and I took like a 3 hour nap- it was wonderful!

Landon has been so sick this past week, and still is! He has a double inner ear infection and is on Amoxicillin and ear drops. He hasn't had any fevers, but now has a terrible cough. It's productive and he's definitely moving all the stuff in his throat and lungs around. We are taking him to the doctor again today just to be sure that it isn't whooping cough- as that is going around our area now. I really hope it's not, but he's just exhausted. He can't sleep because he's coughing and can't breathe, and I can't sleep because I'm worried about him. I hope that our doctor's visit today will prove to be beneficial!

My Gorgeous, Perfect Angel! My Little Peanut! I love you with all my heart and soul! I am so proud of what an amazing human being you are. You overwhelm me with your strength, courage and perseverance. You are Our Hero and Our Guiding Light! You and Landon are the two reasons that Daddy and I wake up every morning! You both are our purpose! I miss you so much, Peanut! I dream about holding you, kissing you, and hearing your little noises and cry. I know that day will come, Liam! I was just talking about you with the girls I work with and they always say how amazing and perfect you are. I always say, "I know! He's My Angel Boy!" You are our gorgeous miracle and our greatest blessing! I can't say enough how much you mean to us, Liam Anthony Hunt!

All My Love and Endless Hugs and Kisses,
Momma