With the Holiday season in full swing, I find my self feeling more tearful then ever. It has been almost three months since Lucas came into our lives and left us three short days later. I know i must go on for my other children and celebrate christmas as we do every year. But for me celebrating anything is the last thing i want to do. We did decide to have 2 trees this year a little table top tree for Lucas as well as our usual big family tree. The little tree honoring Little Lucas has blue lights,little teddy bears in blue sweaters, mini blue and silver balls, a tiny picture of him, his little cherub wings, a tiny white CDH awareness pin hanging from a red ribbon and a angel tree topper. It is truly beautiful. I find myself sitting at night after everyone has gone to bed and the house is quiet, just looking at his glowing tree for hours. I feel that even though Lucas will never spend a christmas in this house with us, his memory will always be with us for christmas through his own tree.