Hi Everyone, I've been feeling pretty crappy all afternoon/night.. and the only thing I can think of that will make me feel better is to write it out, regardless what people may think of me after i say what i need to say.
I'm angry, depressed, sad, and feel alone.. i'm also a bit jealous. I'm on facebook allot, like allot.. sometimes i think i may have a problem, but anyway. Allot of my friends on there are expecting babies soon, just like me. Except all of their babies are healthy. and I'm jealous.. I don't like feeling that way at all.. I thank god that their babies don't have to go through what mine will in a few short months. I don't understand why I'm feeling like this.. I don't like it. People are also starting to have their baby showers, and setting up their nurseries. Well I'm not, we've decided that we are going to wait until we know that our Jasmine is coming home to set up the nursery and buy things, we've also decided to wait until she is home.. to have a baby shower type party, kind of like a coming home party. But, it upsets me when i see all of these other people doing those things, i wish i was enjoying my babies nursery, getting it all set up and pretty for when she comes home.. I wish I had a baby shower to celebrate my baby. I dont think I could handle doing all of the "normal" baby things and then have her not come home..
It's none of these peoples fault that I've decided to do things the way we are, but I can't help but feel so sad about it. I hate feeling like this, I think about it all the time. I keep thinking about all the what if's..
I've been trying to stay really positive since we found out our baby has CDH, but we only found out 3 or 4 weeks ago, and I'm still going through all the emotions. I'm just finding it really hard to find balance in my emotions, one minute i'm laughing and having a good time with my daughter and husband, and then next i'm thinking about all the crap that is going on and how much our lifes are about to change.
I wanted to be pregnant so bad, I was so excited to find out we were having another baby, Don't get me wrong I'm still very excited to have our baby, and I can't wait to meet her, it'll be one of the best days of my life *one of the hardest* but still one of the very best. I just wish things could have been different, and I keep asking why my baby?.. Everyone keeps telling me I need to be strong, and not stress out.. And i'm finding that impossible.
But anyway, I guess I feel alittle bit better after getting these feelings out.. This weeks is a very quiet week, no appts or anything. Our next ultrasound is next thursday *may 29th* Praying that it goes well and that there are still no signs of hydrops.

Originally Posted by CarlyD

Had my ultrasounds today, Jasmine looks great.. heart looked good, and no sign of hydrops right now which is what they are looking for. I got my doctor situation straightened out, I will be going to Mass Genn in Boston for everything, ob, baby care, delivery.. NICU.. ect.. And will have my ultrasounds every 2 weeks in Maine. I feel good about our appt today.. Trying to stay positive, and hope to learn more about Jasmines CDH when we get to Boston, I'm not sure how severe her case is right now.

Hello everyone, my name is Carly and we recently found out that our baby has CDH. We went in for our routine ultrasound, at 22 weeks.. We are expecting a baby girl, her name will be Jasmine Raine. We found out on 5-2-14, at my ultrasound they told my husband and I that she has left sided CDH, with only a herniated stomach at the moment. They wanted me to decide if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy, I said No, what kind of person would I be not to give my baby a chance at life. *Not to offend anyone by that statement*
They set up a Cardiologist appt for us that was on 5-6-14. The cardiologist said that her heart looks perfect right now, no abnormalities at all. And the left valve * I don't know all the technical lingo* Going to her left lung is really good sized, and is almost the same size as the healthy right side. He told us that, that meant,that her lung is probably growing well right now.
I'm hoping that all of the things that i've learned about our little girl are good, and that it will mean her case isn't as severe as it could be. We are suppose to go for an ultrasound every two weeks. And we will have to go to Massachusetts for delivery, we live in maine and they don't have the things she will need when born.
But now I'm confused with who I'm suppose to be seeing and who i'm not. My doctors seem to not be communicating very well, So when we go in this thursday for my ultrasound i'm going to have to talk to someone and straighten it all out.
This has been an incredibly emotional couple of weeks, I think I've felt every emotion possible. I'm hoping that this group will help me understand things more as i find out more, and the support is exactly what I need! We are due between 9-4 and 9-11.. Everytime we go in Jasmine looks younger or older.. so we don't have an exact due date right now which is pretty frustrating!