On December 6, 2011, I lost my little Leelu. In May of 2013, we found out that we were expecting again. Which of course caused a whole host of emotions (as well as a ridiculous number of doctor appointments throughout the pregnancy). So now I'm sitting here, watching my beautiful 5 month old Seraphina and feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt. I'm so thankful to have my little girl, but if Leelu had survived, I never would have gotten pregnant. So does that mean I shouldn't be thankful for Sera because she is the result of her sister's passing? And sometimes as I watch her discover things and figure out the world around her, I feel the weight of Leelu's passing all over again because she'll never get to do any of that.