JenniferTenney

Well, despite all my careful planning (Derek and I actually calculated it and did not start trying until her birthday would be February at he earliest), Dakota's birthday is on Christmas Day, so her birthday celebration got folded into the Christmas celbration. Nevertheless, it was a very special day. I am so grateful that we are where we are and that we have my little girl to celebrate with. She is so cute! She did not really open the presents but she liked to play with them once they were open. She did not care about all the adorable new clothes she got but I did (I LOVE clothes!!!!)! I am so grateful for my generous family and friends! Dakota played in her ice cream cake and took a few licks and bites when we put it in her mouth. I think she had a good time with it =). I don't know if other moms do this, but on Christmas day and really this whole last week, I have been thinking about where I was last year at this time. On Christmas night, as I was putting Dakota to sleep I slipped my finger into her hand and she squeezed it and I started to cry because last year on her birthday that is all I saw of her ... her little hand curling around mine before they took her on the plane to Gainesville. The rest of this week, I find myself doing the same thing. On the 26th I thought, this is when Dr. Kays told me that Dakota had to go on ECMO and we were driving up to be with her and I got to see her for the first time. On the 27th I thought this was the smooth ECMO day. On the 28th, I thought this is when the cannula started to kink and the ECMO flow didn't work very well ... a crazy day(which turned out to be a good thing as Dakota proved that she could do just fine without it). Today was the day Dakota came off ECMO. I picture sitting in the hospital room with her. I can close my eyes and hear the sounds of the machines. I can picture the walk we made to her little area. I can smell the smells .. I can picture sitting in the pumping room which is where I went to cry when I needed to. It's crazy. Honestly, I wouldn't trade these memories for anything ... they make me appreciate every single moment with my beautiful baby in a way most parents just can't unless they've had a baby they almost lost. Thank you, thank you God for my Christmas miracle.