JenniferTenney

I am happy to be writing this entry while Dakota is almost 22 months, rather than writing it a year ago. About 2 months ago, Dakota suddenly developed a cough. I did not see symptoms of a regular cold before the cough, it just started as a juicy, mucousy cough. I waited a week and then called the pediatrician on the phone. I told her that Dakota was doing okay with it but that she had thrown up several times from coughing, but no fever and was otherwise acting normal throughout the day. She was not eating much, but that wasn't new. She told me to give her over the counter medicine and make an appointment in 10 days if she did not improve. So 10 days later, it was still the same and I brought in Dakota, the doctor told me it was just a cold with a cough and sent me home without any prescription. I told her that I wanted to stay ahead of it, since this was her first one, and that of course I was worried with her weak lungs, but she told me it was not bronchitis or pneumonia. 2 weeks after that (it had been over a month now) Dakota was still coughing, so I sent my husband with Dakota back to the Dr.. She gave him a prescription for the mucous, but no antibiotics. Again, no improvement and the cough seemed to get a little deeper, so 10 days later I took her back AGAIN! Finally, the doctor gave her a prescription for antibiotics and told me it sounded like bronchitis now (but not when my husband had taken her in). After the antibiotics, the cough seems to be on the mend and it is very rare now, but now she caught a cold from me and my husband and her nose is running! She is acting okay though and eating ok for her. I am hoping it doesn't make her cough come back!
This experience has resulted in several thoughts:
1. I am disappointed in my pediatrician, but I don't know if I should be. This is the first time I truly needed her and I feel like she was not as proactive as she should have been and let the cough go on way too long for a child with fragile lungs! On the other hand, I know she was not exhibiting the symptoms of infection and antibiotics aren't prescriped for pure viral things like colds, so maybe she did all she could. But I was still upset watching my baby be sick, even a little bit, for 2 months!!! Now I am worried that she is not a good enough doctor for Dakota but in my area with limited child services I don't know of any others that have even heard of CDH.
2. I felt like a failure as a parent for having failed to protect Dakota from sickness, especially this second cold she caught from my husband and I. I know that she will get sick and this is just the beginning logically, but emotionally I feel like I have failed her. I don't do everything I could to keep her isolated-I forget to wash my hands sometimes and faile to tell others to do it sometimes, but I don't think that is good for her age, so I am going to have to accept emotionally that she is going to get sick.
3. Dakota is a rock star! She has proved that she can handle even a long sickness and even bronchitis with spirit and good nature! She never acted sick and always ran around like a monkey, smiling and laughing. I am so proud of her!
I hope she is completely well soon. I know the cold that my husband and I got passed for us in a few days without any lingering cough, so I hope it is the same for her. If not, this time I will press harder for antibiotics sooner.
4. My problems are small in the large scheme of things. I have been so worried, but then I think back to the days when Dakota was in the hospital - that is real worry. This is just normal parent worry. And I read about some babies who really are struggling with colds and pneumonia and being hospitalized for it and realize that Dakota is doing just fine. I just love my little monkey so much and want her to always be well ... as we all do for our babies.