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JadeHunt

Your First Halloween

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My Perfect Angel, Liam,

Yesterday marks your first Halloween. Landon was a lion, in honor of you. He kept saying, "I like Liam, Momma!" He was very proud of his costume and gave everyone a great big ROAR, in true lion fashion. He dreaded putting it on at first but after Momma bribed him with his green blankie, Little Einsteins, and McDonald's, he gave in. Once he put it on, he never wanted to take it off. He said, "No Momma, be like Liam!" He truly looks up to you, Liam!

We only went to a select few houses- Nonna and Grandpa, Uncle Yvon and Aunt Melanie's, Annie, Uncle Jordan and Aunt MacKenzie's, Great Meme and Papa's, and Mimi and Pop-Pop's. It felt a bit like a whirlwind and although we only made a few stops, it was a full night and your brother made a killing on candy! His little bucket is full and beyond! I told him and Daddy that they need to be mindful of how much they eat because if they get belly-aches, I don't want to hear any fuss!

It was a bittersweet night. Your brother was a blast and very comical, but it didn't feel right without you. I know you are always with us, but it's different.

I guess I can breathe having made it through our first family holiday... now onto the biggies. I am dreading the two holidays ahead. I don't know if I have the strength to put on a happy face when all I want to do is lay in bed and cry. Perhaps I'll feel better when I see your brother's little face. I guess I'll have to fly by the seat of my pants, so to speak.

This past friday, they had the annual pumpkin patch lighting at Momma's work. Lan wore his costume and loved seeing all of the cool pumpkins. One of the girls Momma works with had a little girl nearly a week after you were born. We saw them there and without hesitation, Momma held her! She is the second baby I've held since your passing. They both have been girls- I can't bring myself to hold another baby boy, unless it's you! At any rate, I was really proud of myself, as was Daddy. That was HUGE step for Momma! Nothing will ever be the same as holding you. I wish I could hold you just once more. I'd give my life to hold you one more time!

I miss you, Liam! I miss you more with every breathe that I take! I know your little hands are holding mine and that you're in my arms. You are my sun and moon! I love you with all that I am!

All My Love,
Momma
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