JadeHunt

My Dearest Liam,

So many things have transpired since my last letter to you, although you have been there for them all because you are always with me- and I talk your ear off most days!

I went to my first grieving parents support group last week, and I am so grateful that you gave the the extra boost and push that I needed. I was hesitant to go, but so glad that I did. I met some amazing mothers, all who have lost their children at different times in their lives, at different ages, and from different causes. There is one thing that we all share- the unwavering love of a mother for her child! Since it was my first group, I got to share our story. This was not easy for me, but through many tears and the urge to run and hide, I told our story. The other moms continued to say how "blown away" they were by my strength and courage. They asked how I do it- my reply was simple, "Liam does it for me!"

Liam, the moment you came into this world, my purpose changed. You have taught me so much and have given more than I could every ask for! Each day, I see you everywhere in everything I do! You show me that you are always with me by doing special little things. When something makes me smile, I know it's you!

I met with Pastor and Pastor's wife on Wednesday and spoke with them at great length about faith and my struggle with God. I have always had faith and always known that God is in my life, but I have never taken the time to formally ask him to come into my life and guide me. I hadn't taken the time until now- I knew I owed it to myself and to you to do this. I asked God to save me and come into my life on one condition, that he brought you with him. I know that you are already here, but I need to feel you closer to me! There is no doubt in my mind that you are God's most perfect and gorgeous Angel! God's Angels are handpicked and he picks only the best! I know that I have needed a divine intervention, an intervention that I know only you and God can give me. I spend the better part of two hours talking with Pastor and his wife about talking to God and trying to find peace and understanding. I didn't know that I oculd ask God to come into my life even though I'm extremely angry with him right now. Pastor laughed and said, "God wants you and loves you even when you're angry with him."

I decorated our house for the holidays and have bought gifts and done holiday things that we have always done. Usually it takes nothing less than a cow prod to get me to do them, but I know that you would want me to do all of these things and keep my chin up. Pastor and his wife are trying to help me not project, or look ahead. I look ahead to Christmas Day and dread its arrival. Christmas Day will be 6 months exactly since your passing. I don't want to dread that day, as your brother is beyond excited, but I can't help it. Pastor and his wife and helping me to look at that day as a day to celebrate you and all that you have given us. I'm working on it- and I'm working on myself.

You serve such a great purpose in our lives, and I want your strength, courage and life to live on! I know that you continue to live through us, and we will always be sure that you do! The world was so blessed the day you were born because the world needs more people like you, Liam! I have always told you, from the moment I first met you, that you were going to change the world and make it a better place- there is no doubt that you have already made it a better place and will continue to!

Thank you for you love, strength, and courage, My Dearest Liam! I love you more than words could ever express and more than emotions could ever show! My love for you runs deeper than even the deepest valleys!

God Bless You, Liam! I am so incredibly proud of you! Please stay close to me and don't ever let go!

Love Always,
Momma