juliedobbs

How does one begin to explain what I feel. It is a complete different day then it was a few days ago.
I have been on bed rest for the last 24 hours and have been on my back with minimal movement. My blood pressure numbers aren't great. I have been ranging 156/85. That was just laying down and doing nothing.
When I went down to breakfast this a.m. I checked it and it spiked to 163/106. Then it kept creeping up higher. I called the doctor and they said to head to the emergency room. She wouldn't admit me directly.
So, I am sitting here. I dont want to waste all weekend laying in bed, and Monday they say, " we have to admit you." So, I think that this is the best bet.
I have no idea why this is happening. My blood pressure was perfect when I was pregnant. I never had high blood pressure before, and now? Why now when my baby is in the NiCU and needs me. Him " needing me" is probably just me talking because he really doesn't know I am there but it sure does make me feel better just to be by him.
My mom and dad have been great. They stayed with me yesteray, and dad came over today to be with me. He sat with my son this a.m. and he is sitting with me now. This is once again out of my hands. I have to surrender control, and just realize there is nothing I can do.
I am reminded of two stories in the Bible that have given me some comfort and strength through this.
Even though I can't see my son and I am being taken back by this blood pressure thing, I have to remember that Job was encountered with so many issues. He was stricken with boils, lost his family, cattle, everything he owned. His wife told him to curse God but He refused. He just kept praying and singing to God and worshiping him. I might not have boils or have lost everything I own. But I know that this is probably some of the hardest things I have and will ever go through. I have to remain strong for my boys and for my husband. God has a plan and now is not the time to question that. Its the time to thank him for the things that he has done. Praise him and just let God take the reigns.