juliedobbs

Today, I walked into the room late. It was 11 a.m. and I was hurrying to get there. I woke up this a.m. at 5 a.m. and had a splitting headache. The kind that my jaw ached and neck muscles ached and head was pounding every possible which way. I needed something to relieve it so I grabbed my Excedrin Extra Strength and went back to bed. Well, I woke up at 9 a.m. and was feeling very strange. I was groggy and felt drugged. I could sleep the whole day. Forcing myself to get up and start the day, I looked on the dresser and at the corner of my eye what I thought was Excedrin that I took I had taken Tylenol PM...at 5 a.m. Which now explained why I was acting like a zombie. Needless to say my whole day has been strange, and I have been exhausted. As a nurse we are taught to read the labels but nurses make the worst patients. OOPs...Thank God it was only Tylenol PM and not something more serious. lol!
So back to me walking into Bryson's room.
Surgeons and doctors filled his room again and they had again turned it into a Operating Room.
The doctor said they had to readjust his cannula in the side of his neck. It wasn't flowing right and it kept setting off the alarms on the pumps so they needed to reposition it. Nothing seems easy with this baby bc they must have been in there for hours. I went to the room across the hall and tried to sleep off my drug, hoping that I could catch some z's during this time.
When it was all said and done they were able to successfully do what they needed to do. Now his numbers are doing great and what he was reading at 80% bypass he is now at 52%. I asked the profusionist, ( the guy who monitors the pump at all times) if they were weening him or if that is him doing this, and they said, that he is doing this. They haven't started weening him, bc he is weening himself. His lungs and heart are doing better the doctors say. By the ECHO they did this a.m. his lungs looks more clear, opened and they said that the pulmonary hypertension is improving and looking better. That is better than what we had been hearing, bc the last few days we hadn't been hearing much of any good news. He has proven that his lungs were strong and capable of working but he just hit a wall and couldn't do it anymore.
Perhaps we are doing better and he is on his way to healing and all. I am praying for that. He does look better and color is continuing to look good. He does somewhat make grimacing faces, " silent cries" is what we call it but he is doing ok. I can't imagine what its like. He has a chest tube, two tubes down his throat, one to his stomach, two cannulas in his neck, he has IV's as well. The poor kid has went through more than I have ever been through. I am so proud of him.
This a.m I went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast and there was a mom with her older son and a little infant carrier that was on the floor. I said," oh, is this the baby? " She said " yes, we are going home today." I asked her when he was born and she said " Dec. 2. " That was Bryson's birthday.
I so wish that we were the ones taking our baby home for Christmas, what an awesome gift that would be. But I smiled and said, " congratulations" and gave her a hug. I am ultimately happy for her. There was another couple in here that has been in this house for 3 months. They are going to be able to go home on Wednesday. Just in time for Christmas too. My time is coming and I know that it will come. Bryson has his stocking hanging up on his IV pump and his name tag that is decked out in Christmas decorations. I can't dress him up with his Christmas outfit or do much of anything with him but just that he is here and that he is alive is all I need to make this a great Christmas. We overcame a huge hurdle and I know there might be more to come but its ok. I am holding on to those tiny miracles that happen through out the day. I embrace those little moments where I am able to change his diaper, or where he looks at me and he recognizes my voice or face. He might be in this tiny little body but he is the strongest person I know.
Julie