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Corin Nava

Missing Gabe

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Corin Nava
, 10-17-2007 at 06:07 PM (15339 Views)
I miss Gabe. I miss him every second of every day. I miss the dream of our happy little family. I miss being naive. I always had this dream of our family. The simple typical dream. Two carseats in the back-a boy and a girl. In my dream they always had names-Gabriel and Makayla. I am so happy about being pregnant with Makayla, but I feel robbed. It is bittersweet knowing that I will be having this beautiful girl-but she will never know her special brother. It's hard to know that I have to live without my son for a lifetime. How do you tell people that you have an angel for a son, and make them understand that he still is MY SON. Just because he only lived a short life does not mean he should be forgotten. I will grieve for a lifetime. I hate the fact that this has changed me. I will never be the same person I was the day I walked into that hospital on November 18th. Everything is different now, everything is harder. I know things get easier over time. But it has been a almost a year now, and it isn't that much easier. I still wake up every morning with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes. I still go to bed every night and dream about those short 2 months that I was able to spend with Gabe. I still have an empty hole that no one will ever be able to fill. And yet, I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I still go on, although I am not sure why or how. I know part of it is for Nate, and of course now for Makayla. A lot of it is to keep Gabriel's memory alive. I don't know why that is so important, but it is. I just hope he is out there somewhere able to see how much I love him. I hope that I make him proud. I pray that one day I will see him again and show him just how much he means to me.
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  1. 's Avatar
    Hi Corin, I just read your write up of 10/17/07. If there is every anything I can do, please do not hesitate to ask. I think about Gabe every day too and Ask him to watch over you. I think that is why you are able to make it through each day. I love you and your SPECIAL family very much.
    Love,
    Aunt Ann
  2. Dawn Torrence Ireland's Avatar
    ((((((((((((Corin & Nate))))))))))))))))

    I'm sure Gabe is with you both and I know he is proud of you - you are amazing! That baby girl has such a wonderful guardian angel in her big brother, you all do. I know it doesn't make it easier or make you miss him any less and if you need to talk, I'm here.
  3. DeannaShoemaker's Avatar
    Corin, I know you know you are not alone, to this day we include Payton is our discussions, pictures up, and Kenton never lets us forget. Tayah will be told one day of her big sister. And to others, many times I tell them I have 3 children, cause I do. I often walk thru the cemetery where she is buried, and see the many children that have passed 20 to 30 years ago, and they still have fresh flowers on them. I had your same feelings, it does get better, but never gone. I could talk forever about your same feelings, having 2 car seats, a boy and a girl etc. If you want to talk let me know.


    take care and God Bless

    Deanna Shoemaker






    Take care and God Bless
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