what to do? dont know what to do anymore. My life has falling apart my family is destroyed. my daughter put through so much. is she is pain? i hope not. no one can tell. when she gets old she will be in pain because her parents made a mistake by marrying. i love my daughter i love my husband but not to strong anymore. scared to leave, too scared to stay. Kayla put through to much. doesnt need anymore hurtfull feelings. dont want her to think it will be her fault. all we yell about is whos chores are whos. i do so much i cant take so much i need so much help. I offered marraige couseling he thinks im crazy, does he really wanna stay. he tells me hell die if he woke up without us here so then why stay so emotionally near. Never says i love you never make me feel romanced and never tells me what he is really feeling. i tell him he is going to lose the 2 most important people in his life and seems not to care. what to do? i love him so i hate him so. Kayla loves him as well. I dont want my daughter to suffer but shell suffer if we will stay. theres nothing but yelling in the day,noon,and night. All she knows with us is yell. I want to do whats best for kayla. he says leave hes says go he says i can careless. He tells me i make him misrable but atleast i am a good mother. I might need some work at my wife skills but im 24 what else is there but for me to learn. My life changed when my daughter was born sick. sick or not i love my kayla. i would never trade her in for the world. would he? would he have choosen to give up at birth or to have me to have a termination if he knew she was going to be so severly sick. Things i think about everyday. My daughter looks at him at smiles out of love. He smiles back out of fake. as i lie on the couch almost everynight i think what to do? this is no life but whats life without a family, without my husband, without a father to my beautiful daughter. I dont want a part time father. I want a full time god damit. If i am able to love her no matter what why cant everyone else. why must everyone look at her different just because she has oxygen like she is a freak. Is that why he is running about. I have no answer anymore i thought i knew my life but i have no idea what anything is anymore. I cant eat, i cant sleep, i cant even think anymore. i am fading away to nothing. to nobody. i just sit here and think what to do?