Fourteen years ago, I was told I would never get pregnant-- you can imagine our surprise when I discovered on July 16, 2001 that I was eight weeks pregnant. My 20-week ultrasound was perfectly normal, as was all the other testing done (I am 37 yrs old). My pregnancy was uneventful until I went into preterm labor at 32 weeks. I was measuring about three weeks ahead for my dates, and my blood tests for glucose showed borderline gestational diabetes. So they did an ultrasound to see how big the baby was. It was at that time that they discovered he had a left-sided hernia. I was alone at the hospital when they gave me the devastating news, and I had to break it to my husband.

The next couple of days were a blur as we talked to several different doctors who felt that things would be fine as all other tests on the baby were normal. We continued the pregnancy until 39 weeks when I had to have a C-section due to breech presentation, and I went into labor. Spencer was born Feb 21, 2002 at 10:30 a.m.-- we heard him cry as they whisked him away to NICU. He was initially on a ventilator but was quickly put on an oscillator with 100% oxygen. He was doing okay until the next morning. He developed a hole in his right lung (his left lung was under developed). Again with the help of a chest tube, he stabilized, and then three hours later he had a massive pulmonary hemorrhage, which eventually took his life. The doctors and nurses tried everything, but we had to make that horrible decision to turn off the machines. He died Feb 22, 2002 at 2:30 p.m.

Three months later I still struggle everyday-- why my son? We waited so long for this little miracle, and now he is gone. I spend a lot of time with the pictures we have of him, but what I would give to have him in my arms again.

I live in Canada and would love to hear from other parents who have experienced this devastating blow. I welcome mail from anyone-- just to know I'm not alone would be great.


Written by Spencer's mom, Carrie Morton (Canada)
2002