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So this week was the anniversary of my first time holding Dakota (I am ashamed to say I don't know the date by heart). I remember the events of the day so clearly though. It all started the week before, when Dakota was extubated. After Dakota got off ECMO, she had a very dip free recovery. She was steady as a rock and almost always had Blood Oxygen levels of over 100 CO2 level of less than 40 and her sats were almost always above 98/98 ... so we were blessed. Even after her surgery, she stayed ...

So, I have a new mission. For 11 months I have been rocking Dakota to sleep and it usually takes me between 1 hr and 2 hrs to get her to sleep at night! If I put her down before she is fully asleep, she pops right back up and starts crying. She is also still waking up 2x in the middle of the night. More than half of the time she stays asleep and will go right back in her crib, but lately more and more, she again, pops right back up and it takes me up to an hour in the middle of the night to ...

I always regretted not doing a blog ... it feels so good to get my thoughts out, even if no one reads it...and I can type faster than I can write.
First, the sadness ... my heart is breaking for Jaden's family and Anne Marie Randall ... my goodness, there is so much sadness in the world and sometimes there is no justice ... I don't get it, I have so many questions for God. I don't know how to thank him for my blessings without blaming him for other's losses. And those losses affect me, ...

Dakota had a pediatrician appointment yesterday ... a short check up and to get her RSV Vaccine. The good news is that while she is still not on the growth chart, she is getting closer! Yay! We seemed to have gotten over that plateau we were at for 3 weeks! Her weight is still going up very, very slowly, but at least it is going up! She looked great and the doctor always expresses her happiness that Dakota is doing so well and has come so far (in her cute Polish accent =)). The bad news is ...

:( so many angels lately it seems have gone to heaven, my heart feels so sad for them, as I approach my turn at the fight against CDH, I am nervous, scared, excited and scared. I love the support and comments that I have been getting on here and the mothers who have lost their babies who still keep supporting those who havent lost yet, just amazes me. Even though I have stopped reading the heavenly angel stories, its not because I don't care, I just need the positive stories at this moment to get ...