My Journey of Faith
by
, 12-07-2011 at 03:00 PM (3972 Views)
When i was pregnant my emotions were uncontrollable because i was so happy to be expecting and so terrified that i would lose him. The last time i saw my doctors was September 22, 2011 they did a check up on everything and he seemed to be doing great. On Sep. 23 I decided to go to church for the first time in years and Brayden was very active during that time. The next day I hadnt felt any fetal movements so i went to the doctors to find out that Braydens Heart failed, there was no trace of a heart beat.
Even though i knew this was a possibility it hit me as if i never knew because i kept thinking to myself that everything will be ok. Words can not describe the pain that i felt. I was then put in induced labor..I was not mentally prepared to delivery a baby yet especially one that was still born. I delivered our beautiful baby boy on Sep 25 2011 @ 9:15 am. Holding him in my arms was a day that i will never forget. I got to spend the whole day with him but when it was time for him to go i broke down in tears knowing that would be the last time i got to see him.
Everyday i think of him and know that he is with me. When ever i hear a Jack Johnson song i know that hes there ( I used to play his songs to Brayden when i was pregnant & he always danced around ) Now i visit him as much as i can and today im going to put out his christmas tree and spend some time with him. I cant imagine what my life will be like years from now..every year that goes by would be another year that i have lost..I will never get to see him grow up and be a mother that i have always dreamed of being. I know that God chose my husband and I to be " Special Parents" because we gave him an Angel...For those who are expecting Never give up Faith and For those who are Grieving Parents like me Honor your child, love them and always remember that your baby is in Gods arms and doesnt have to feel any pain and that one day you will re unit. Take care
In Loving Memory of Brayden Allen Duran<3