Danielle Howard

Sienna was put to rest on last Saturday, ...a day that will live in my memories forever. Our priest said some wonderful things...one thing he kept repeating was "do not let your hearts be troubled" I think alot of parents on here who choose what we chose have troubled hearts. We got Sienna beautiful white roses in a pink vase with Precious Daughter inscribed on the ribbon. The nameplate was difficult to look at. How can I be burying one of my children at 27? Why did this happen to us? My grandmother has been so wonderful through all of this. She has cried with me and offered her mausoleum drawer for Sienna. She has realized how much Sienna was my daughter even though she never took a breath. The rest of the family actually gets mad at her because she cried at the funeral. I feel that she feels some of the pain that i feel, and for some odd reason, it's comforting....her showing me her feelings has helped me more than the people to figure not talking about it will make it better. My husband held strong until he put the letters we both wrote to her in her drawer, then he lost it. I immediately stopped crying to be strong for him. It's amazing how that instinct kicked in. They were very respectful of my wishes. I didn't want anyone carrying her. So they allowed me to put her in the crypt and we stood there as they sealed it up. Some family members thought that was wrong of them, but i didn't want anyone taking her from me. She was in my sight the whole time and i know where she is exactly. I stopped there this morning on my way home from work. I played a song for her off of my phone that always reminded me of her...our journey. I think the song is made for a wedding but i can make every single word fit our situation. one line is "beauty in all she is" and i'm very sure my Sienna was beautiful. This was a day we did not want to see come, but it has brought us some peace. I could have never even thought of another child until my little Sienna was at rest and it was complete. Now, with Sienna's wings wrapped around us and a guardian angel forever for her big brother...we try to move forward as a family....never to forget.