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LizM

Can't Accept, Nor Can i Grieve

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Well it's been almost two and a half months since I lost my son Nakyler Anthony to CDH .. He was delievered at 5 months because his CDH was life threatening and also my body gave up on him .. i still yet have not accepted it nor grieved about it .. i am upset with myself as if i couldn't save him as he passed away in my arms .. he's been cremated and i have his ashes and yet it still doesn't matter i want my son here .. i ask why him .. i ask many questions that i will never get any answers to
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  1. DanielleMason's Avatar
    Don't be upset with yourself as it will do more harm then good. I can't promise it will ever become easier to deal with but I do know keeping his memory alive will help more than you know. Talk to everyone who will listen to you about your baby boy and how strong he was.
  2. MonicaForquer's Avatar
    Oh Liz, I'm so sorry about your little boy, Nakyler! I hate CDH. I have to tell myself that I won't let it win. I won't let it kill me too. Have you thought about joining a support group or seeing a grief therapist? That has really helped me. I agree with Danielle, finding a way to keep his memory alive does help (and that's what my grief counselor has helped me with).

    None of this is your fault. But that doesn't make it any easier. I hope that getting support from this site helps give you some comfort. HUGS!!