Williams, Ashton Lee

[left:02dd10124c]http://www.cherubs-cdh.org/Album/new/williams-a.jpg[/left:02dd10124c]My name is Adriana Williams. I am 24 and I just lost my son Ashton to CDH about 7 weeks ago. And it was the hardest thing to do. Saying goodbye was the worst. I hated seeing him with all the monitors and everything on.

He was 5 months in utero when we found out. They confirmed at 7 months in utero. When the doctor told me I about got sick. I worried and prayed every day after that. But unfortunately all the prayers in the world couldn't save him. He was gorgeous. He was my baby. He held on for his mommy for 6 days then his little body couldn't take it any more. He died in my arms were he wanted to. I cherish every memory and picture of him. He had so much stuff wrong he wouldn't have survived no matter what. His heart was moved over to the wrong side, his stomach and some intestine were up in his chest, and his lungs were under developed.

On the 6th day they told us he wasn't going to make it and that we only had a few ours left with him. So they put him on a portable ventilator and let every one hold him. It was the saddest thing in the world. I hate going to the cemetery and looking at a gravesite. I just wish I could hold him one more time.

I would like to write this prayer, which was said at his funeral. I would like it posted for all the grieving parents: Lord, the loved ones gone from us we trust now to your keeping... Bring them home at last to you, wake them from their sleeping, soothe them with your tenderness, touch them with your grace, take them from this world to find a brighter place... Care for them like children, Lord, and let them always be within your gentle heart for all eternity... And though we loved them very much, we'll find our peace somehow, in knowing we will meet again although we're parted now.

I would also like to write a poem for the grieving parents. It has helped me. Its like whoever wrote it knows exactly what you feel when you lose a child. It's called Oh Mother, my mother. Oh Mother, my mother I touch your tears, invisible fingers soothing your skin. I know you think of me so often in the day, in the night, in your dreams, going into a empty nursery knowing I'll never be there, but I am...in your heart in your soul, I shall always be for you gave so unselfishly of yourself. Inside of you, you created such a world for me a world of laughter, of love, of sadness, of sorrow, every emotion people come to know you shared with me. And even though I may never feel your arms around me I felt your heart beating, like a lullaby, singing me to sleep and your spirit giving me a safe haven already protecting me nurturing me preparing me for things to come. But sometimes the journey of life pulls souls apart and yes, I had to go on

to another place. I wish I could stay. I wish the decision I could make and I know you do too. Know this wherever you are: I will always remember that yours was the first love, the first joy, the first soul I will ever know you gave me courage to go on my journey I hope I can do the same for you. Your heartbeat will always call me to you. Love, your child.

Thank you very much for letting me write this I hope it will help other grieving parents because it hits home so much and you feel everything the poems says. Thank you.


Written by Ashton’s mom, Adriana Williams (Ohio)
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